Happy Saturday, everyone!
This week has been more active than I anticipated. I was afraid I'd be on this blog once a week, boring you with tales of my toddler-induced insanity and chronic exhaustion-by-work. Not this week, friends. :)
First, the intended parents visited with an attorney. It seems that process will be pretty smooth since IM (intended mother) and I have really already hashed through a lot of the details on our own. We have locked down things such as fee, number of embryos to transfer, the fact that we both agree that reduction (essentially aborting one embryo if both take) is not an option, and what will happen if I end up on bedrest. Of all the difficult things to discuss, getting straight answers and a written proof of coverage letter from my insurance provider has proven to be the most difficult task so far. **Not shocked**
Oh, and then there was that hour this week where my IM seemed to freak out a bit. It wasn't unreasonable. She just mentioned that we may need to put it off for a little while. Considering how far we had come together and how much information I had given her to this point, that really threw me off. So I asked her about how long she was thinking. A month for work reasons, I get. But 6 months because you're still not sure...I'd be on the road to that gay couple. She came back after about an hour and said, let's do this, and scheduled her appointments. I guess it was the surrogate version of cold feet.
Around midweek, IM went to her appointment at our OB and got the "go." She has started birth control to regulate her cycle and will start fertility meds soon. The clinic even sent her a calendar, which was creepy/neat. Her projected retrieval date is 8/22. That is to retrieve her eggs for you boys out there. ;)
All in all, things are moving smoothly. If everything runs on schedule, my Dr will knock me up around January. That should be interesting in itself, right??
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Saturday, July 21, 2012
You're Going to What?!
Welcome, friends!!
I'm sure it was a bit of a shock to see my announcement on Facebook. A woman wanting to carry a baby for another couple is not something you hear every day. I was excited to see all of the amazing supportive people in my life. I also received a lot of (valid) questions. So, let's just go back to the event that led me to make this crazy decision...
It was totally Elton John. All you need is love...
And Neil Patrick Harris.
These men are obviously not having little bundles on their own. Bundles of money? Of course. Bundles of chubby, sleepless joy? Not a chance. They had surrogates.
Now, I have select family and friends who would argue against what I was going to do next, but I have seen enough messed up (very messed up) hetero households to know that "orientation" itself does not make a good or bad parent. End rant. So I went my husband (who has been amazing) and then to my OB and told him that I want to be a surrogate for a gay couple (using an egg donor, I refuse to use my eggs). My OB was supportive, but honest. Because of Oklahoma's strict laws on surrogacy, he said he doesn't see many gay couples. He asked if I was open to helping any couple and to that I answered, "Of course. I don't discriminate." :)
That convo was about 2 years ago. Since then, I had my tubes tied and my OB contacted me about a potential match who didn't follow through. A little more than a month ago, he contacted me again with a couple who is a perfect match. This is the beginning of our journey.
The next step for us is to get the contract drawn up. You can't even imagine the things we are going to have to take into consideration and put into writing. Obvious protections to make sure she doesn't run off and leave me with a baby or that I don't run off with hers. But also things like what if I become ill...as in too sick to continue the pregnancy. Terrible, right? I just pray we make good decisions and that the contract will never have to be used in that way.
After the legal paperwork is taken care of, the IM (intended mother) will start working on getting her cycle in sync with the clinic we are using in St. Louis.
This is far as I know now. This is such a learning experience for myself, Matt and the IPs (intended parents). Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. I'm excited to see what our future holds!
It was totally Elton John. All you need is love...
And Neil Patrick Harris.
These men are obviously not having little bundles on their own. Bundles of money? Of course. Bundles of chubby, sleepless joy? Not a chance. They had surrogates.
Now, I have select family and friends who would argue against what I was going to do next, but I have seen enough messed up (very messed up) hetero households to know that "orientation" itself does not make a good or bad parent. End rant. So I went my husband (who has been amazing) and then to my OB and told him that I want to be a surrogate for a gay couple (using an egg donor, I refuse to use my eggs). My OB was supportive, but honest. Because of Oklahoma's strict laws on surrogacy, he said he doesn't see many gay couples. He asked if I was open to helping any couple and to that I answered, "Of course. I don't discriminate." :)
That convo was about 2 years ago. Since then, I had my tubes tied and my OB contacted me about a potential match who didn't follow through. A little more than a month ago, he contacted me again with a couple who is a perfect match. This is the beginning of our journey.
The next step for us is to get the contract drawn up. You can't even imagine the things we are going to have to take into consideration and put into writing. Obvious protections to make sure she doesn't run off and leave me with a baby or that I don't run off with hers. But also things like what if I become ill...as in too sick to continue the pregnancy. Terrible, right? I just pray we make good decisions and that the contract will never have to be used in that way.
After the legal paperwork is taken care of, the IM (intended mother) will start working on getting her cycle in sync with the clinic we are using in St. Louis.
This is far as I know now. This is such a learning experience for myself, Matt and the IPs (intended parents). Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. I'm excited to see what our future holds!
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