The Person I Grew

After having my son in 2010, I had always wondered what it was like for a woman to grow a baby for nine months, and then go home from the hospital empty-handed. Honestly, when those thoughts would cross my mind, I never related them to my desire to be a surrogate mother. The last time I posted to this blog, I had just been through the embryo transfer and was waiting for confirmation of the pregnancy. We transferred two frozen, five-day embryos, so there was a possibility of twins. After five home pregnancy tests, a lot of dreaming and speculating with Baby Mama, and finally, our visit to the Doctor, it turned out that I was pregnant with one little ball of cells. A very cute, very miraculous ball of cells, I might add.

The first trimester was full of trial and error...and trials. Baby Mama sent texts all day, every day, and expected many phone calls. She asked a lot of questions and one day, I even broke down in stressed out tears because I was frustrated that I didn’t have the early pregnancy symptoms that she asked me about every day. I felt like I was doing something wrong, I was terrified that I would lose her baby, and I was so tired of having to keep myself sane and support her with all of her emotions as well. At seven weeks pregnant, I got the “morning” sickness and exhaustion that would serve as our daily reassurance that everything with Little Fetus was fine. A notable memory in my first trimester was the day I drank coffee. I must have missed the hints from Mama before the transfer that would have clued me in to her mildly psychotic reaction to my admission to drinking a small cup of caffeinated coffee early in the pregnancy.

 The second trimester was better. Although the morning sickness stuck around longer than I had hoped, I had a little more energy. Baby Mama and I were starting to feel more comfortable with our roles in the baby’s development; I was to be as healthy as possible while Mama was to do her best to keep me stress-free. We had gone shopping together and tried to develop a more “sisterly” kind of relationship. There were still times where she would step on my toes (figuratively) or the other way around. I was very thankful to have Matt around as he gave me perspective and kept me level-headed when my hormones desired drama. We found out that the little person in my uterus has a va-jay-jay. This was fun for all of us. For the intended mom and dad, it was a major pregnancy milestone. For me, it was confirmation that I’m doing this right, there was a healthy kid in there…

As everyone can probably assume, the third trimester was magical. Okay, not really, but it was definitely the best. Eve’s parents were in full on plan and prepare mode. I was getting mentally prepared to have a baby that I wouldn’t get to hold without her parents’ permission. I had to go to the hospital three different times for preterm contractions, but she was stubborn enough to hang out in my midsection until our scheduled c-section date of July 26. Baby Mama and I had developed a solid friendship by this point. I got to go to her baby shower and meet all of her lovely friends and family. Seeing how excited they were and how much Miss Eve was loved just made me ready to see Babe with her real mom and dad. We were all just so ready for the Big Day.

 On July 26th, I had a perfect surgical delivery. My husband was by my side whispering words of encouragement to me while the Doctor pushed and tugged the beautiful, healthy, seven pound seven ounce bundle from my loins. Eve's sweet mother got to be in the operating room to see her take her first breath. Baby Mama and I are very close friends and I am so proud of her and her patience, love, and [enter additional, positive adjective here]. She is an amazing person with an amazing, and now complete, family.

Here. Have some lingo. You're welcome.

Oh my gosh.

I feel like such a virtual slacker. I haven't posted anything on this blog of mine for weeks. Well, at least a week.

So, I had my transfer on November 15th. We got a call that morning saying the fresh embryos didn't make it to day 5, so we transferred two frozen embies. The actual transfer process went smoothly, then I was on modified bedrest for 24 hours. After those 24 hours, I kept my feet up and did my best to take it easy. Thankfully, the transfer was on a Thursday, so I had the whole weekend to chill. It was quite nice.

After the transfer, I went into a phase of the IVF process called the [dreaded] 2 week wait, or 2WW as the experienced call it. Thankfully, for me, it wasn't a full 2 weeks. Since one of the embryos was 5 days and the other 6 days old at the transfer, I had a bit of a head start. This is the waiting period before I was allowed to take a pregnancy test. My first blood pregancy test or "Beta" is scheduled for this Friday, November 23rd. That will get a baseline of the hCG in my system. The 2nd Beta will be on Monday the 26th. If the hCG level at least doubles between those tests, then I am officially pregnant.

But, wait.

They do say it's ok, for us impatient types to take a home preggo test, or to POAS (pee on a stick), as they say, before the Betas. IM and I are both too anxious, so I POAS this morning and got a...

BFP!!!!!!!

That's another fun pregnant person acronym that means Big Fat Positive.

So, I'm pregnant. It will be confirmed with the Betas and I'll have my first ultrasound next week to see how many of the little boogers stuck.

I'm so thankful to God for His hand in this entire journey, thankful to you friends for all your prayers and support, and thankful to my hubs for his support, shot giving, and putting up with my hormones. This is just the beginning. We have many more milestones left before we introduce the beautiful babe(s).

Just for fun, here is the picture of the embryos after the transfer. The arrows are pointing to the little blob. Have a great day!

Let's Make This Quick...

Friends!

I'm sorry I have been absent. I have been SO busy recently.

Let's back up to 2 weeks ago. I got a scare. I received a letter in the mail from my insurance company saying my OB is not going to be in network staeting in December.

Say, what?!?!

Thankfully, I had an appointment the next morning for blood work. I asked him why he was breaking up with me. As it turned out, it was a mistake by the insurance company and the letters were sent in error. *whew*

Now, as you all know, I've been on Lupron (belly shot). I learned that the purpose of that is to suppress my hormones so that I don't ovulate. I've also been on Delestrogen (bum shot) to increase my estrogen from the baseline that the Lupron suppressed me to. My first estrogen blood test came back at a level of "19." The next one was "297," but they were really looking for 300+. My last one was "333." They increased my Delestrogen after that bc it wasn't rising enough. That was a huge BUMmer. ;) The shots are painful enough at the lower dose, raising that dose has been brutal.

Fast forward.

IM has her egg retrieval TODAY. She has one good egg and we are praying it holds up during retrieval, fertalizes nicely, and grows over the next 5 days.

The embryo transfer is scheduled for November 15th. That's less than a week from now!! I received my new calendar and I won't even go into detail. I have 3 new meds today, progesterone bum shots every other day (huge doses), and 2 more large estrogen bum shots.

I also had to quit caffeine.

Holy Fat-pants.

Well, all.

As you may know, I've started my Lupron injections. They really are just tiny needles and a small dose. They don't hurt at all...but, I still can't bring myself to administer the stupid junk to my own abdomen. I have a friend who does them at work and my husband does them at home. I'm such a wimp. :/

I promise that I will do it myself before my next post. Promise.

So far, I don't feel much different. I've been a little concerned about headaches bc of my history of migraines, but it has been surprisingly easy. I have at least 2.5 more weeks on the Lupron, then I start all the other craziness that isn't even on my calendar yet, Estrogen, Ovidrel, Progesterone, etc...of the three I just mentioned, two are injections and one is an "injection." Google it.

Speaking of birth control. ;)

I take my last BC dose on Monday. Thank goodness too, bc I haven't filled out my clothes this "nicely" since I left the hospital after giving birth to my own little bundle. Every time I start to beat myself up for not going to the gym, I just remember how much I'm going to vomit during my first trimester. So, I guess it's ok to store up a little extra cushion before we pull the trigger on this business.

Speaking of trigger.

We only have 3 weeks until our projected transfer date. Crazy! I have a bum shot and blood work this coming week, two bum shots and another blood test the week after, and then a bum shot, blood test, and lining ultrasound after that.

And just for fun, here's a link to the instructional video of a Lupron injection administration. Enjoy!

I hope you al have a super fantastic week. :D

Pain in my...

Wow.

In just over 4 weeks, I'm going to (hopefully) be 2 weeks pregnant. A surrogate is automatically 2 weeks preggo at transfer.

Last week, I received my huge box of meds. It was unbelievably overwhelming. There were 4 different types of injections, progesterone, different prenatals, among other things. I also received my packet that contains agreements, instructions, and another calendar.

I start my first injection this Thursday. It is a subcutaneous Lupron injection. This means it had to be administered either in the outer thigh or abdomen. It's just a small insulin needle and has to be done daily. I will continue the birth control for just another week. I'll also be taking the prenatals and something called Dexamethasone daily by mouth. I have 4 arse injections with big needles between now and the 6th as well as 3 blood tests...friggen vampires. The bum shots are 1.5" needles. There is no way I'm administering those myself.

So, after about 4 weeks of this mess, I will be heading to St. Louis for the embryo transfer. That is the light at the end of the tunnel. Above all the shots and meds and raging hormones, I just pray the transfer is successful.

Among all of the surro business, I have a lot of new stuff going on at work. I mentioned a couple of weeks ago the amazing offer that kept me from pursuing a different career path. This new role has been such a wonderful ride. The things we have been working so hard on will be coming to fruition over the next few weeks. I think the combination of that and the meds will make for a whirlwind of a month.

The encouragement from you all has been mind blowing! I hope each of you are having a fantastic weekend. :)

Just Weeks!

Happy Saturday!

I know I just wrote last week, but I thought that you all would be curious to know that we have dates! 

And even if you're not curious...you're already here, so you may as well keep reading. ;)

I will start BC this week, then on the 17th, I will start the injectables. IM will have her last egg retrieval the week of November 5th, and the transfer will be the week of November 12th.

I guess I should also mention that I had a nightmare about the bum shots the other day. The needle was HUGE and I was all alone and had to do it myself. I was trying to figure out how in the world a needle that size was necessary when I woke up. I have a feeling there are more needle nightmares to come.

This entire process has been so easy. I want to thank all of my friends and family for the prayers, and my hubs for being so supportive. You all are amazing! The encouraging messages I get are so inspiring.

I hope you all are doing well! We will be knocked up before you know it. Then, I can turn to my blog to whine about how sick I feel, all the gross foods I'm craving, and how I can't sleep at night. That will be fun, right? Ha! Just kidding. ;)

Counting Eggs Before They Hatch

My, oh my, what a couple of weeks can do to a person. I hope you all had 2 wonderful weeks!

I'm going to start back exactly one week...

The intended mother spent the week before last in St Louis near the clinic. It was finally time to retrieve her eggs. In case you don't remember, this is the first of two egg retrievals. She had been taking her fertility meds to prepare for this for over a month...Last Sunday was "go" time.

The clinic retrieved 4 eggs. They observed them for a few days to see how well they developed and then rated them on a scale of 1 - 5 with 1 being the best. On Wednesday, the 4th was determined unviable. The remaining three were rated 1, 2, & 2. Those were observed again until Friday. Friday afternoon, IM sent me a text saying that the clinic notified her that one of them was ready to freeze.

Crazy, right? Freeze it, then use it later. Modern science is just plain nuts.

Friday evening, my husband and I met with the IPs at an attorney's office and signed the final copy of the contract. IM was so sweet and it looked like she was afraid we'd back out.

The fertility clinic said that I will start my birth control the first week of October, and the fertility meds a week after that.

So with everything signed, fertility meds in the mail, and an egg in the freezer, this is well on it's way to becoming a reality. In mid-November, we will all go to St Louis for the final retrieval and transfer. Keep those prayers coming. IM and I pray for this future baby everyday.